


running.  (Phan)

by kase



Category: Phan, Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Amazingphil - Freeform, M/M, Phan - Freeform, Phan AU, Phan Angst, Phan Fluff, Phan Smut, YouTube, danandphil - Freeform, danisnitonfire, danisnotonfire - Freeform, fantasticfoursome, phanfic, phansmut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-24
Updated: 2016-06-24
Packaged: 2018-07-17 23:28:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7290433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kase/pseuds/kase
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>this work is dead.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. leaving

**Author's Note:**

> Hello so for whatever reason I just can't seem to stop myself from writing today! So, in hopes that this random surge of creativity keeps its gears grinding(what a lovely way of putting it), i've decided to try and start an actual fic with chapters and such. I hope this goes well, I tend to give up on chaptered stories, but hopefully i'll get some good reviews to keep me goin! haha. but anyways i do hope you enjoy. please do feel free to tell me what you think!! comments and everything else is very very appreciated. :)
> 
>  
> 
> Update: I'm not really happy with this, so I think I'm just gonna drop it. Think of it as practice- a sketch or an outline for a future fic. It just simply wasn't well written and I feel like I need a clean slate.

"Shut up! Shut the fuck up!" Dan is yelling at the top of his lungs, pacing around like a maniac. The other people in the apartment complex are without a doubt already filing complaints, and his boyfriend--er--ex-boyfriend is sat on the bed frantically trying to calm Dan down. There's no way thats going to work. "Dan, I'm sorry!" Chris pushes in a soft voice. "I didn't mean to-" 

"Didn't mean to what? Stick your dick inside that bloody whore's asshole?!"  
"Dan." Chris starts, sounding more stern now.  
"I said to shut the fuck up you cunt! I can't hear your voice right now!"  
"Dan, I love you, I'm sorry."

At this, Dan is utterly appalled. He can't handle people who just throw that word around like that. Before this, of course, Dan was stupid enough to believe Chris. But now... Now he knows.

Dan marches over to Chris, getting in his face, his own facial features twisted with anger. "I.. I hate you." Chris hates when people get in his face. And Dan know this. But is too emotional to think about what he's doing.

Next thing Dan knows his cheek is met with a crisp smack to the skin. His neck twists around in the direction of the slap, and stays there. A few seconds later, Chris continues to push on with the frantic, meaningless apologies. Mustering out "I'm sorry's" and "I love you's". Dan hates it. He hates it so much. "Get out." Dan's voice is deep, and full of hatred, so cold and completely done. At this, Chris know it's time to leave. That he has absolutely no chance of redeeming himself now. Not that he did before, Dan isn't one to believe in second chances. Or rather, trust in them.

Chris gathers his few clothes, his travel back, and proceeds to the door, but pauses when he approaches it. He takes a deep breath, clearly about to say something else. But before he can, Dan chucks come piece of metal at him, nearly hitting his head, but instead pelleting the door. If Chris wasn't frightened before, he sure as hell is now, and rushes outside to his car. 

Once again, Dan's alone.

He falls to his knees, hands on his face, hair tussled from running his fingers through it more than plenty of times. Then he falls to his side, and curls up into the tightest ball he can. He doesn't cry. Dan hasn't cried since-

A loud knock can suddenly be heard at the door. Chris? What the fuck does he want now.

Dan is quick to his feet, and hesitantly makes his way towards the sound. There's about 5 more angry knocks before he can reach the other side of his tiny apartment. When he opens the door, he's a bit surprised, a bit relieved, and a bit reminded of how loud he can be at times. "Dan Howell? Apartment 31A?" Dan pauses before he answers, closing his eyes tightly for a moment and pursing his lips as he runs his fingers through his hair yet again. "Yeah. Yeah..." He answers tiredly. "I've gotten about 5 noise complaints in the past ten minutes, can you tell me why that is, sir?" This police man in particular has an attitude of some sorts. "I... got into a fight. With my..." Dan pauses again. "My friend." The officer observes Dan. Though he might have had an attitude, he sees Dan's exhaustion, and also notices he's alone, meaning his friend must have left already. At this, he lets Dan off, advising him to keep it down. Dan replies with a lazy "yea, thanks" and shuts the door.

 

 

****

 

 

Dan is sat on his bed, wheezing, with a bottle of pills in his hand. He's been hyperventilating for hours, still unable to shed a tear. 'Whats wrong with me. What the fuck is wrong with me' he repeats over and over and over in his head. 'useless, coward, failure' The are all some of the words that tend to float about Dan's mind. 'what do i do, what do i do, do i-' 'no, no i couldn't.' 'but why couldn't i?' Dan is now rocking back and forth, giving himself another reason to think he's fucking crazy. 'do i? do i? do i?' The question repeats in Dan's head endlessly. Overwhelmed, Dan chucks the pill bottle across the room and lets out a short yell, also causing a loud bang when the bottle hits the handle to a drawer on his dresser. Dan then stands up and begins to pace around again, with the occasional rein of punches laid down onto his mattress in attempt to relieve some frustration. 'What do i... do..."

Dan spots something shimmering on the carpet in front of the door. It's metal, the one he threw from earlier, and Dan makes it out to be an old birthday gift from Charles. Dan walks over to the metal, more calm than before. He picks up the pendant, allowing the chain to slip down in-between his fingers. Its a round locket with a picture of the two inside, and the year it was given to Dan can be seen at the bottom: '2012.' A year before he and Charlie got together, the same year they met, three years away from now (almost four seeing as it's December.) Theres also a phrase engraves across the top.

'run away with me.'

Dan thought it was aesthetic at the time. How cliche it truly was tho-

That's when Dan realized..

 

That's it. That's what Dan will do. Despite being told that his life was here, despite being told not to run from his problems. That's what Dan is going to do. And rather than negative names and thoughts and unanswered questions bouncing around in Dan's head, something else passed through his mind for a change.

 

'i'm gonna run.'

 

 

****

 

 

Dan quickly throws his one travel bag into the passenger seat of his white jeep, and hops in on the other side. He's left his place a mess, and can see the same officer from before approaching him, probably with another noise complaint about the things he threw around his room since then, but before the police notices that Dan's seen him, Dan is off.

He's off. Leaving. Saying goodbye. Letting go. 

Running.

Dan pulls into a Starbucks drive-thru. The line is long enough to give him some time to decide on where exactly he's going. He's got more than plenty of cash saved up from his published books and occasional sold artworks,(like a lot), so he can basically go wherever he wants. He opens his notes, where he's got some travel ideas saved, and begins to skim through. 'Yorkshire, Cotswolds. blah, blah, blahhhh..." Dan pulls up a bit before he finds exactly what he's looking for...

A wafllecone frap! He's been thinking about trying one of those...

 

Oh yeah, traveling. Right... 'Yorkshire, no. Cotswolds, nada. Devon, hmm noo. London? nah. well, maybe...' 

"Welcome to Stacks, how may I help you?"

"One large waffle cone frappe, please."

"That'll be 6 pounds at the first window."

'Actually.... London sounds cool. And it's said to be a place where artists flourish and thrive. so I suppose London will do. I just wanna get out of here.'

 

Dan gets his coffee and leaves, off to Journey into the city of London, home of artists and aesthetics.

 

 

****

 

 

About 4 hours later, Dan arrives in a new city, and possibly his new home. He checks into a decent hotel, nothing very expensive, where he'll look for a flat to stay in. 

 

By the time the next day, Thursday, rolls around, Dan is completely exhausted. He's gotten zero sleep and zero recovery from a nasty fight, a flavorless coffee, a 4 hour drive, and a night full of flat hunting (which was quite unsuccessful, by the way.) So, Dan decides to go out for another coffee, but definitely not a waffle cone frappe this time.. Dan checks how close the nearest Starbucks is, and it turns out to be quite close, walking distance really. Dan actually enjoys walks at times, being the artist he is. So he decides he'll take this time to try and recover a bit.

The walk there isn't as short nor easy as Dan thought it might be. The sidewalk is crowded with people going to and fro. Rushing to work and to breakfast. Dan did stay up all night so it is quite early. About 8AM to be exact. Dan is cold and can hardly see past the sea of people flowing right around him, seemingly all in the opposite direction. 

"Oof!" Dan hears some guy shout as he runs into what feels like a stern wall of flesh. Dan stumbles back to see a tall, completely unshaken man in front of him. The man, though broad with sort of exaggerated featured, giggles at Dan's clumsiness. "I never thought id see the day that I wasn't the one bumping into people." A bit dumbfounded, Dan responds, "Well, technically you did bump into me." Normally he'd apologize and be on his way, but theres something about this character of a man that's quite alluring.

"Noo, you bumped into me" The guy has raven hair cut into a fringe, almost exactly like Dan's, and a pale complexion. He has a coffee in one hand, a phone in the other, and is wearing a dark green scarf. Dan scoffs at his reply, and raven-hair keeps on. "Say, what are you doing walking in this direction anyway? Nearly everyone around here is off to work, and most businesses are in the opposite direction you're headed." 

Dan is still quite surprised at how outgoing and talkative this guy is. They are in the city after all, which could be filled with strange people. "I was headed for some coffee." Dan tries to keep his answers short, and his guard up. This man is undeniably beautiful, and Dan is a sucker for beauty. But he won't let his seemingly cute personality lure him in.

 

er-strange. 

 

Strange personality.

"What? Theres no way you're getting all the way to that Starbucks against this crowd! Here Take mine. Its the new flavor, waffle cone, but i don't really like it." The mysterious man then straight up places his coffee in Dan's hand, then motions him to walk along-side him before they get bumped into for the millionth time. While Dan is aware that, despite his attractiveness, this guy could be some dangerous stranger, it does feel nice to walk along the flow of the crowd for once. Plus, Dan is curious about this guy.

"Im Phil by the way. Phil Lester."

"Dan."

Phil laughs. "Whats your last name?"

"why?"

"Just asking."

"Howell."

"Now, I don't believe that for one second."

At first confused, Dan starts to wonder if this guy has read some of his work. Or maybe even seen some of his art? He's not as good at painting and drawing, so his art is less known.

"What?" Dan asks, after having paused for too long.

Phil stops to look at Dan. Like, really look at him. He even squints and leans in closer to get a good look at him. A bit too close, actually, which Dan can't help but blush at. 

"Oh my god..." Phil sounds worried. "What?" Dan asks, a bit worried himself now too. "I can't believe it! You're Dan Howell!" Dan is now utterly dumbfounded. He knows his work is kind of popular, but he's no John Green, and Phil is acting as if he's just met his hero. "Yeah" Dan assures him, voice as casual as before. Phil is laughing again. 'cute laugh,' Dan thinks to himself, but is quick to censor his thoughts. "It's a bit weird how the two of us just randomly met here. In the middle of London." Dan looks at him. "What d'you mean?"

"I mean, we're both artist. And you're from Manchester, right? You must be here on a trip or something." 

Thats when it hit him. Phil Lester. Dan follows him on instagram and subs to his youtube. He does photography and makes vlogs. Dan loves his work and his videos. "Well?" Phil asks, waiting. "Oh, um.. no actually. I.." Dan decides to keep his realization private for now. "I'm staying in a hotel here while i look for a flat to stay in. I plan to move here but I'm having some trouble finding-" Phil cuts dan off with a gasp. Dan looks over to see a very stunned Phil. "What? What is it?" Dan staggers, again startled by Phil's dramatic actions. "I know it sounds strange, but you could stay in my flat with me! Finding a place here takes a long time. You'll probably end up spending all your money on that hotel! Besides, it could be a good... art... experience." Dan laughs at this, its so sudden and strange that it's funny. "What?' he giggles. "It could be good for inspiration I mean!"Phil exclaims, seemingly only worried about his bad wording skills. "Okay, okay, calm down. I'm not just going to move in with you. Im sorry, but we just met." Dan dismisses as the two stop at what seems to be Phil's destination. "Alright, fine. Anyways I've got to go meet a friend. I'll give you my cell so we can talk some more?" Phil holds his hand out for Dans phone, and Dan mulls it over. He told himself he wouldn't get attached to anyone.

 

 

Oh well. When's a phone number hurt anyone before?


	2. hazy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan is still having trouble finding a flat to stay in, and starts to consider Phil's offer to move in with him...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! So I finally wrote chapter two, and I have to say, I was a tad stressed about this one. I couldn't seem to think of where I wanted to go with the story, but eventually I just sort of started writing and everything just came to me haha. Though, I did still have some trouble. With editing especially, I literally checked the entire chapter over like 5 times. yike. But anyways please feel free to let me know what you think! All of your comments and kudos are highly appreciated. :]]
> 
> P.s. I know I recycled the chapter title from my other fic, but it just fits so well. :P

It's been 3 days and Dan still hasn't found a place to stay, though he's reluctant to text Phil about his offer. He's still lying to himself about wanting to become friends(or more maybe even more than friends) with the guy.

Dan notices his phone sitting on the end of the bed, remembering Phil's crazy suggestion from Thursday.

_"You could come stay in my flat with me! It takes ages to find a flat here, you'll end up spending all your money on that hotel!"_

Dan mulls it over for a moment, but is quick to censor his thoughts. _'No. There is no fucking way I'm going to just move in with a complete stranger.'_

He then pulls his lap top onto his thighs, turns it on, and opens up the endless tabs of flat-hunting websites waiting for him in his browser. 

*****

An hour of endless, agonizing scrolling passes, and Dan begins to rethink the decision he'd made to himself earlier. 

Dan sets his laptop beside him, taking an exhausted breath. His phone again manages to catch his eye, leading him to contemplate his options even more.

Before he knows it, he's scrolling through his few contacts, and dialing Phils number. Phil picks up after about 2 rings.

"Hello?"

"Hey.. It's Dan."

Strangely enough, Dan finds himself to be a little nervous.

"Hey! Did ya find yourself a flat yet?"

Phil's voice sounds cheery and welcoming, only making Dan's heart flutter even more.

"No, not yet. Actually, that's what I'm calling about..."

"Oh?"

Dan laughs nervously before continuing.

"Yeah... Looks like you were right about flats in London. And spending money on hotel rooms...." 

Dan is trying his best to sound confident while on the phone with Phil, but what Phil can't see is the way Dan is nervously scratching the back of his neck and twiddling his toes while he leans on the edge of his desk. 

"I see. So you're looking to stay with me after all?" Phil is jointly trying his best to sound mischevious, but excitement shines through his voice.

Dan takes a shaky deep breath and replies "yeah.." 

"Okay! Actually, I'm headed over to Pj's in a bit. I could stop byon the way and take you to meet him, then we can go back to my place?"

Dan grows sick at the idea of socializing with whoever Pj is--he's not a very social person at all- but he's too tired of this uncomfortable conversation to find an excuse as to why not, so he just answers with a quick yes and hangs up.

 

*****

 

Around two hours later, Dan's phone lights up along with a _-ding-_. He immediately looks at the screen to see Phil's name appear. 

"Phil Lester- 1 new message."

Dan waits a few minutes before replying.

"Where am I going?"

"Hilton Inn, 320 Hemson Drive."

"Omw! :)"

Dan let's a short laugh slip from his lips at Phil's constant enthusiasm. Dan is actually under a lot of stress right now over a lot of things-- what to do with the ending of his current book, occasional desperate texts from Chris, moving-- but Phil seems to carry a vibrant happiness around with him, even over text and calls, and it's comforting to Dan, really.

Dan gathers up his travel bag and keys before throwing on a coat and scarf (which he never really wore before now), and heads to the front of the hotel. Soon enough, Phil arrives, and the two of them begin their walk to Pj's place.

In the middle of telling Dan stories of when his clumsiness took its toll on him, Phil notices Dan is dazing off.

"You're not even listening to me, are you?" Phil asks, sunshine still showing through his voice, accompanied by a small giggle.

Dan disregards the comment, still looking thoughtful. "Isn't this the same road we walked down last time?" 

"Oh yeah! I was going to Pj's then, too."

"You go there often?"

"Yeah, Pj and I are pretty close."

Dan is surprised to feel his heart drop upon hearing this. 

_'How close?'_

 

*****

Not too long after, Dan and Phil arrive at Pj's. Pj is a whimsical guy, with brown, curly hair that sits on the top of his head and well defines features.

Dan undergoes an awkward introduction, and mostly keeps to himself throughout the night. But as time goes by and drinks are refilled, all three boys end up in a haze. 

Finishing one last (quite terrible) lap of Mario kart, Dan realizes how tired he feels (not to mention super dizzy). "I'm so sleepy.." He slurs, laying his head down on Phil's lap without really thinking about it. The both of them are sitting on Pj's couch, while Pj rests in his favorite bean bag to the side of the sofa. 

Pj, who'se a bit less drunk than the others, notices that the two of his guests are feeling quite exhausted, and decides to call a cab for them. Phil had informed Pj that Dan would be staying with him, so Pj sends them both off to Phil's place.

Dan and Phil arrive at Phil's flat and, after a long struggle of making their way up a towering set of stairs, walk inside. Phil skips the tour that he'd been thrilled to plan for Dan, and leads Dan directly to the couch in the living room instead. They both collapse onto the sofa, basically tumbling over eachother, and Phil somehow manages to turn on some anime. 

Halfway into the first episode, Dan finds himself staring at Phil. He'd given up on continuing to censor his thoughts a few drinks in, and finds himself to be crushing quite a lot on the boy next to him (despite only have met up with him twice now).

Phil notices Dan, and stares back at him. Their noses are nearly touching, and neither break eye contact until Dan begins to speak.

Dan thinks about what he's trying to say for a few seconds. Despite being drunk off his ass, he can feel nervousness continuing to sprout in the pit of his stumoch.

"You're..." Dan pauses to look back up at Phil. " _really_ pretty. 

Phil looks down at his tangling fingers and grins, his face growing a bit red. Dan notices his cute smile, blushing a bit himself. He can't seem to look away from Phil.

In a moment's notice, Phil regains eye contact. He seems to be a lot more confident than Dan, which Dan finds to be charming. However, there's still a hint of shakiness in Phil's voice.

"You're..." Phil slides his hand up to Dan's jaw. " _really_ pretty too."

Both of the pair are grinning, mouths ever so slightly open as they marvel at eachother. 

Phil glances down at Dans lips, want glistening in the blue galaxy that is his eyes. Dan does the same to Phil, hinting back to him. Soon enough, the small gap between them is closed, mouths pressed together and hearts doing some sort of flippy over thing that they'd never really done before.

Dan wraps his arms around Phil's neck, one hand running its fingers through Phil's hair. Phil then does the same to Dan's locks with one hand, the other keeping its place on his jaw. As the moment grows more heated, Phil begins to lean into Dan's neck, dropping his hand down to his chest, but Dan pulls away before he can be touched.

Phil is much more awake by now, and a tad less drunk (but still not anywhere close to being sober). He gazes at Dan, eyes now flooded with confusion, eagerness, and worry. 

"What's the matter?" He asks hastily, hoping he didn't do anything wrong.

"Nothing! Nothing I just..." Dan is quick to reassure Phil, but doesn't know what to say. He's really likes Phil. A lot. But he literally just broke up with Chris, and doesn't want what he has with Phil--if they do end up having something--to be made out of confused, drunk lust.

"Well...?" Phil asks, still on edge over wether Dan is okay.

"I just think I should get some rest." Dan dismisses, rubbing his face tiredly. Phil is understanding, and shows Dan to the guest room that he'll be staying in. 

Dan is up all night, stressing more and more as he sobers, wondering what his new home at Phil's flat has in store. Worrying that he wont be able to control his feelings towards Phil. That he'll become attached and get hurt.. And dreading how fucking awkward tomorrow morning will be

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> phew... Finally I'm done haha. I hope you enjoyed! 
> 
> Btw (for those of you who understood it and have read my other fics) sorry for using the same reference so often when writing about Dan and Phil having a first kiss, I just think the reference is cute aha
> 
> Anyways dont forget to leave comments and kudos if you enjoyed! Anything and everything is very very appreciated. :)


	3. friction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Awkward stuff happens everyone's awkward

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi i had little time while writing this. also lately i've been a bit thin of ideas. i'm doin' my best really but im still enjoying writing of course :) but ye im on vacation right now actually so thats why ive been so distracted i guess but anyways i hope yo enjoy this. comments and kudos and all mean A LOT so that'd be nice if you could leave those c;; anyways thats all thanks for everything it all means a lot ok enjoy
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> **happy fourth i hope it's going well for you :))**

When Dan wakes up the next morning, he keeps his eyes closed in hopes to somehow sleep all day. He's almost certain Phil would be awake by now, considering he almost always sleeps in until at least 10am. 

Dan rolls over, slowly becoming aware of the aching in his stomach. He let's out a groan and squeezes his eyes shut in attempt to block out the light shining through his window. 

Soon a familiar voice tugs Dan back into consciousness. 

"Stomach hurt?"

He sits up to see Phil leaning in his doorway with a smirk swept across his face. This is the absolute last person Dan wants to see right now. He falls back into the bed, throwing a pillow over his face with the logic that, if he presses the cushion down hard enough, everything around him will disappear.

"Dan" phil whines, walking over to pry Dan's pillow away from him. He's forced to literally drag Dan out of bed, and soon enough finds himself rushing him to the bathroom and barely making it to the toilet. Dan is puking non-stop for a full five minutes before he can even sip the water Phil offers him. 

Eventually the two are able to sit down and have some cereal--after Dan has washed up of course. That guy smelled.

Phil turns on the same anime from the night before, which he was barely able to resist watching without Dan. While Phil seems completely calm and collected, Dan is being a complete ball of discomfort huddled over on the corner of the couch, until Phil is forced to retreat into the kitchen for something to clean the some milk he's spilled. Dan takes this opportunity to wipe away his clammy palms and check his phone. All he's able to think about is the awkwardness of last night's incident and is desperate to find distraction in whatever he can.

Dan skips the unsurprising new messages from Chris and opens up the worried texts from Louise-his best and only friend back in Manchester-instead. He hasn't spoken to her since the day he left, and the last thing he said was a remark blinded by emotions. Something blunt that he couldn't quite remember. What he did remember, though, was Louise's troubled shouts and anxious texts which he thought might never end. But Louise knew Dan well and eventually gave him some time before trying to contact him again,

A quick and un-explanatory "hey" is sent before Phil makes it back into the room. The two immediately make eye contact. to which Dan musters a hasty grin and quickly focusing on the screen. Dan is reluctant to admit it to himself, but Phil has noticed his strange behavior, which he's quickly reminded of when the show he's pretending to be so interested in is suddenly paused. 

He bites his lip and turns to Phil, trying his best to seem unaware. Phil almost falls for this at first, but he's too stubborn to let his suspicions go. 

"Whats wrong?" he asks simply.

"Nothing" Dan replies, still managing to mask his anxiousness perfectly. 

Phil glares at Dan suspiciously. After thinking for a moment, he finally realizes what Dan's problem might be. It usually doesn't take him long to understand people's distress. "Cheer up" Phil teases ,shoving Dan lightly and pressing play as a way to disregard the situation. Dan lets out a relieved laugh, turning his attention back to the TV.

 

*****

 

Two days pass and Dan and Phil have sort of silently agreed to forget their drunk night from before. Dan has basically given up on his writing for the time being, and he's been relieved of a lot of stress already. He can't lie about the fact that Phil makes him happy. Phil makes everyone happy, really. He's literally a wad of walking sunshine.

-

Christmas is slowly coming around and Phil still has't gone Christmas shopping. 

"Please Dan" Phil whines. "It's so boring going alone." 

"You're so needy" Dan teases, staying focused on his phone. 

Soon enough Phil is tugging on Dan's arm, still begging him to accompany him on his trip.

"I told you, no. I'm too lazy."

"Come on! It's really pretty and snowy outside." Phil has somehow already caught on to Dan's love for beauty, only making it easier to tempt him. 

"It's, like, a twenty minute walk to where you want to go." Dan's argument is valid, but Phil is a master persuader when he really wants something.

"Twenty minutes of pretty frost on trees and snow floating around and scarves and-"

"Fine!"

"Yes! Now get ready we have to hurry." 

Dan nearly falls out of bed when Phil yanks him over to his coat and scarf. Dan throws both on and the two are out the door.

-

Phil was right about it being pretty, but it's also noisy and the streets are crowded with Christmas shoppers. Dan stays close to Phil, actually expecting to get lost. Phil teases him about this and Dan pretends to be mad at him for as long as he can before getting bored.

Eventually Dan and Phil make it to the store Phil wanted to go to- some nerd place filled with anime and video games. The store inevitably brings forth the child in them, and both find themselves browsing about the store, looking at pokemon plushies and game of thrones merch.

"Hey Phil, i think i found your christmas present!

Phil turns the corner to find himself being bombarded with mouse-pad anime boobs. 

"Dan! I hate you!" 

"Come on, you liked it!" Dan keeps teasing.

"Gross! You're the worst person in the world."

Dan laughs and tosses the mouse pad onto a random shelf. Phil shuns Dan upon seeing this and the two trail on through the store.

After a few more trips to some other shops and plenty of objects being thrown at the other, Phil finally finds everything he wants, and the two start back home.

"Wait, aren't you going to get anyone anything?"

Despite (somehow) having such fun christmas shopping before, Dan finds himself worried at this question. 

"I didn't bring my money" he dismisses and continues forward. 

"Don't you have anyone to shop for?" Phil pushes on.

"I'll do it later."

"Are you sure? I-"

"Yes."

"Well when-"

"I don't know."

"Okay but-"

"Im not going shopping! Not today. Not tomorrow. Never! Now could you please just-just shut up?!" Dan's harsh response comes out of nowhere, and he feels sorry instantly afterwards. He looks at Phil with regret plastered all over his face. Phil is embarrassed, and ashamed, and surprised.. Dan just looks away and the two continue their walk in a terribly uncomfortable silence. Again surprised by his emotions, Dan feels the urge to hold Phil. To apologize. But he just.. can't. He's antsy and flustered and can hardly walk without feeling cumbersome at this point. So instead he keeps quiet until and even after they get to Phil's flat. Dan hides away in his room for the rest of the night and Phil does the same. 

It's strange how, when someone means something to you, the littlest remarks can make you feel so dejected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi again i hope you enjoyed. sorry 'bout not really expressing a lot of dan and phil's artsy side (especially phil) I'm trying my best to maintain everything going on. but yea i really really hope you enjoyed. leave comments and kudos and bookmark this and anything means the world to me really c: ok that's all bye


	4. warmth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan prepares for an awkward apology with Phil, but it turns out that's the least of his worries for time being.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oi.
> 
> i haven't really been pleased with my chapters lately, and i think its because:
> 
> 1\. no good ideas  
> 2\. only smol stuff is going on in the story
> 
> so i tried my best to change that with this one.
> 
> also i know this is REALLY SHORT I'm already working on the next chapter tho so thumbs up for that sweet cool ok enjoy

Dan walks into the living room heavy heartedly and cloudy minded. He hates apologies; they're just so awkward. But, to his surprise, Phil isn't awake yet.

Dan checks the time- 12:00. 

_What the hell?_

He shrugs off the unusual circumstance and heads toward the kitchen to grab some cereal. He reaches for the box of shreddies, but stops, and takes a packet of oatmeal instead. Cereal is his and Phil's thing.

On his way back into the living room, Dan finds a note. 

_Headed to the store.  
-Phil. _

oh.

As soon as Dan sits on the couch, the doorbell rings. _No surprise Phil forgot his house keys._ Dan heads towards the door, again preparing himself for what's ahead of him. He opens the door, and freezes at what he sees in front of him. 

 

~

 

Before he can slam the door shut, Chris forces his way through, grabbing Dan by the wrist and muttering apologies over and over. 

"Get off of me!" Dan shouts, trying desperately to escape Chris's grasp. "Why are you here?! How the hell did you know where I am?!" 

"Just listen to me! Dan I'm so-"

"Oh, fuck off!"

"Dan I came all this way-"

"That's your fault!

Dan is still struggling away from Chris, only leading him further into the flat. Eventually, the two run into the sofa, falling over it. Chris has collapsed onto Dan, but instead of backing off of, he him takes their position as an opportunity to shut Dan up. He places his hand over Dan's mouth, his tears falling onto Dan's face without Dan being able to wipe them away due to his arms still being held back by Chris's other hand. He keeps on and on with the "I'm sorry's" and "i miss you's". Dan is completely disgusted and more uncomfortable than he'd ever be apologizing to Phil. Dan squeezes his eyes shut and tiredly squirms under Chris, reluctant to give up.

Suddenly Dan feels Chris's wight being yanked away. "Get the fuck off of him!" 

He immediately sits up to see a seriously infuriated Phil. Chris is thrown against the counter and pummled across the face by Phil's fist. Immediately after Phil kicks him in the gut, causing him to fall over. He then continues to kick him all over, face red with rage.

At first, Dan is relieved, but soon realizes that the beating is going to far. 

"Phil!" Dan cries, running towards him and grabbing his arm in attempt to hold him back. Instead he's immediately pulled into Phil's arms, feeling nothing but his warmth. Dan's expression shifts from scared, to stunned, to content in a matter of moments. His arms fall to his sides and he melts into Phil's touch.

"Dan.." Phil's voice is breaking. "Did he hurt you?" Dan simply nods 'no.' He feels weak but at the same time his heart is racing. 

"Who the fuck are you?.." 

Dan is soon swallowed by cold air as Phil moves away from him and heads over to Chris. Dan can see the regret in his eyes- he even looks as if he's about to cry. 

Phil kneels down to Chris, apologizing and offering to help him up with an open hand. Chris looks as if he's just returned from war, but despite just getting his ass handed to him on a silver platter, he responds to Phil with a wet spit to the face. 

Phil's expression is now twisted into a combination of surprise, disgust, shame, and anger. Even so, he remains calm, standing up and dragging Chris to the door. He tosses him out of the room and slams the door behind him.

"Are you alright? What happened?" Phil asks worriedly. Dan is completely confused. How can Phil be so calm? Isn't he mad? He has so much reason to be angry a this point. 

Dan remains distracted by his thoughts, but Phil takes his hands in his, completely catching his attention and even making him blush. "Im fine" Dan chokes nervously.

"Who the he-. Who was that?" 

Dan is completely unwilling to answer the question. He pulls him hands away from Phil's and tucks them away in his pockets, avoiding eye contact as much as possible.

Phil leans towards Dan, taking his chin with his fingers and making him look into his eyes. "Dan."

"my ex.." Dan mutters, a bit dumbstruck at Phil's flirtatious behavior. Deep down he doesn't hate it, though. (which he'd never admit, not even to himself.)

Phil pauses, his hand falling away from Dan's face. His eyes are now filled with worry and sadness. He truly does wear his heart on his sleeve, or rather, in his eyes.

"Phil?..." Dan is completely confused at Phil's reaction. True, he hadn't wanted to tell him, but that's not because he thought he'd get this sort of reaction. 

Soon enough, Phil snaps out of his trance. "Hu?- oh. U-um. Your ex? ha.. Whats his name?" Dan has never heard Phil sound so dis-organized with his words. He's usually so cool and collected, frustrating Dan with his confidence. ('sides his constant clumsiness, of course.)

"Chris."

"I see..."

After a moment of silence passes, Dan remembers his objective from earlier.

"Phil, I want to apologize about yesterday. I don't know what came over me... I just, got mad. Out of nowhere! I-" Despite having rehearsed his apology countless times, Dan sounds even more rambled than Phil had just before.

"It's okay." Phil responds quickly and sweetly, placing his hand on Dan's shoulder and gazing into his eyes. Dan is blushing, but also feels awkward somehow, and it's not because of his terrible apology. Phil is acting so... different.

"U-um. My oatmeal is probably cold... Im.. gonna go.... eat.. it.." Dan staggers over to the table where his food awaits him. "Oatmeal? You always eat cereal."

"Oh. Well, um. ya know.. cereals just sort of... our thing. ha ha.."

 

Phil blushes, but dan Doesn't see.

 

Phil then begins to put the groceries away.

When he finishes, he doesn't join Dan for breakfast, but instead hides away in his room.

Dan won't admit it to himself, but he misses Phil's warmth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahh (again) sorry for how short this is 
> 
> BUT if you're enjoying this leave comments and kudos i need the motivation haha
> 
> ok thats pretty much all bye :)

**Author's Note:**

> wow ok its 6AM. I hope this doesn't suck. Feel free to leet me know what you think tho. :] 
> 
> btw I know Dan and Phil's personalities might be a bit off, and idk if thats normal for AU's, but if not hopefully you don't mind. I can say that ill probably improve on that matter later on, this particular situation was just a bit difficult to work with. It was mostly just plot, there should be more character development later.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, I really hope you enjoyed. :D


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